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“It’s the silence that’s most dangerous.”

Derek Jarman [British filmmaker] once said: “All men are homosexuals, some turn straight. It must be very odd to be a straight man because your sexuality is hopelessly defensive. It’s like an ideal of racial purity.” Which got me thinking, why some gay males act effeminate while others tend to act masculine, like a “normal” male. In other words, why is Rustom Padilla acting that way [virginal, chaste, giggly, Im-not-looking-for-a-relationship-and-I-haven’t-slept-with-a-male-person guy] after outing himself on Big Brother?

Gawd, I promised myself this won’t be a chronicles of the closet guy in Manila. I’m not out and proud but definitely queer and here to stay. In the sidelines. With the others who prefer not to speak out in the open, watching as the pink cavalcade glides by [Reminds me of the annual Gay Pride parade in Malate where most of the participants are either the very butch lesbians and the feminine badings in the city. There is even a batallion of teens, slim and very feminine, who dress up in tribal costumes and don black makeup as Ati-Atihan warrior queens thud-thumping with the rumbling drums.]

Undeniably, there is this broad spectrum of the feminine/masculine wiles of gay males. When I was growing up, my idea of the gay male was Charlot [tsarrr-lot], my mum’s gay hairdresser as I was not fully aware then that there were others out there, the “normal” guys. I would like to think that some prefer to be butch because of the still threatening environment of hate, prejudice and aversion that still exists. The others have, in some unfathomable way, courageously dispensed with this gender-related affectation and found support [and pride] in their individuality. My friend M, mannish and loving it, however, says it all boils down to the fact that you’ll get laid more if you act manly and less feminine and that the prized gay males in Manila would want to hump a “straight-acting” gay guy more than the “effems.” Wham bam alakazam!

And then again, there simply is just no one way of being gay [or straight], if you ask me.

Model is 26-year old Mark James dela Cerna, UPH’s [see http://ultimatepinoyhunks.blogspot.com] Hunky Hipon [literally, shrimp, referring to the fact that shrimps are eaten heads off]. He is another veteran bikini contest contestant and a part-time ramp model for minor designers in the metro.



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